File Photo
So maybe you’re not the “One Minute Man” Missy Elliot rapped about in
2001, but if you’re still looking for ways to have longer-lasting
erections (and longer-lasting sex), you’re not alone. Sex experts agree
that it’s one of the most common things men are insecure about—but
they’re not always using the right methods. “Of course all men have
their own extending technique, from thinking about football or baseball
or counting backwards in their heads,” says A.L. Harper, a sex expert
and former editor of a UK-based men’s magazine.
“However, these distraction techniques can result in making them worse
in bed because they aren't paying attention to their partner's
pleasure.” If you’re curious to find out the real ways to last longer,
we’ve asked three top industry experts to share the advice they give
their clients—no Viagra required.
2. Get Out of Your Head. “Performance anxiety is the number one killer
of sustaining an erection,” says sex coach Dr. Patti Britton, a
board-certified Clinical Sexologist. “Shift your thinking to a more
confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.” Britton explains
that a “self-debilitating mindset” is what shuts guys down. “When you
begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath, and then
focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your head and get into
your body—focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.”
3. Change things up. The best thing to do if you’re getting close to the
edge? Alter your speed, advises human sexuality expert Catherine
Toyooka, the founder of Catherine Coaches sex workshops. “Try teasing
her. Take your penis out and rub just the head of it sensually up and
down and between her labia. Vaginas have lots of nerve endings clustered
in the lower portion of their vaginal canal, so this move will still be
very enjoyable for her to experience.”
4. Slow down! “Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many
men are so fond of, try taking your time,” says Toyooka. Sex at a slower
pace leads to a more connected experience for both people. “It’s more
sensual because you are caressing and exploring the rest of her body.
Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body,”
she says. The most important thing to keep in mind that will help you
last longer? Enjoy the journey that leads to your destination.
5. Try a different kind of exercise. Dr. Britton suggests exercising the
PC muscles (or pubococcygeus muscle, if we’re being technical). They’re
the ones that stretch from the anus to the urinary sphincter. To figure
out how to squeeze and contract the PC muscles, try stopping your urine
flow while you’re in the middle of peeing. You’ll know it when you try
it. Three sets of 15 reps per day should do the trick. “Daily PC muscle
reps help a guy to literally pump himself up. Squeezing those muscles
triggers good blood flow to the penis, which in turn leads to mental
confidence,” she says.
6. Practice the 7 and 9 method. Similar to the Kama Sutra method
(mentioned in no. 1, above), Harper recommends her favorite— the 7 and 9
technique. “It's 7 fast in/out strokes, followed by 9 slow in/out
strokes. Then repeat: 7 fast, 9 slow, 7 fast, 9 slow,” she says. “This
rhythm is good for guys who don't last quite as long as their partner
needs, and good for the ladies as it establishes a good rhythm for her
stimulation too.”
7. Don’t go deep. “If you feel that continued deep thrusting will bring
on an all-too-quick orgasm, try penetrating only the lower portion of
her vagina—in other words, take more shallow thrusts,” says Toyooka.
“Also, alternating between shallow and deep thrusts can make you last
longer, and will also make the experience a lot more fun!”
8. Squeeze. Britton recommends that men explore the “squeeze technique.”
“There are three areas of the penis where squeezing or applying
pressure can help a man sustain or maintain an erection.” For the first,
make a tight ring with the index finger and thumb around the base of
the shaft when it is erect, simulating a penile ring. It can help a man
keep blood flow to the engorged penis. The second: Apply pressure on the
underside of the head. “That’s a male hot spot, densely packed with
nerves,” Britton says. And finally, pressing on the “perineum,” or the
spot between the anus and the base of the testicles. “It will feel like
the tip of the nose. If he presses with his finger, it will congest the
flow of ejaculate and help quell the early release of the erection.”
